No Ice

I drink a lot, when I’m drinking. Not just alcohol, but anything. If it’s good, I want to drink it. Back when I drank beer, I drank a lot, for that reason. That lead to my liver being shot at 32. When I drank pop (or soda, to some of you jackals) I drank a lot. Which is what lead to me being diabetic. But, I love water, and when I’m drinking it I drink a lot of it. That’s a good thing. After I found out I was diabetic in October of 2016, I stopped drinking pop, drank more water and unsweetened tea, and I lost weight immediately. I was also off of insulin by December of 2016.

The point is, I drink a lot of whatever I’m drinking. I love to drink. If I could survive on just drinking, I would.

Because of this, I have no time for things to get in my way, such as ice. Chances are very good that whatever I’m drinking is going to be cold when I pour it in my cup. And it’s not going to last long enough to get warm. So why put ice in it? That’s just taking away from the amount of liquid I could potentially drink.

I bring all of this up only to fill space. I guess some of it was educational and important to the story. Anyway, when I go out to eat and I order a drink with no ice, it’s because I DON’T WANT ANY FUCKING ICE. The problem is, that’s one of those things that quickly turns into a reflex. People in the food industry get so many drinks for so many people, and the vast majority of those drinks has ice. All it would take from me ordering no ice to them getting my drink, is one extra thing to come into their world and distract them from the motion of putting ice in the cup. Just a fly buzzing by their head would do it.

Tonight I ordered no ice. I got ice. I handed the cup back to the guy and said I wanted no ice. Like 99% of the people I have this conversation with, he looked put out by it. I’m sure these people are thinking either “what the fuck” or “this motherfucker didn’t order no ice.” The latter gets backed up by my order, where they go to look and see if it says “no ice” on the order, and usually it doesn’t because they don’t put it on the order when I say it. Probably because they think they’ll remember to get me no ice so they don’t put it on the order. And then that fly goes by…

I know nothing is going to change. This little blog piece isn’t going to change the world. I’m still going to have that problem. It would just be nice if drinks came with no ice regularly, and putting ice in it had to be requested. Of course it wouldn’t take long before the vast majority of people who get ice would become the norm and we’d be right back to where we are.

Something to think about. How much are you paying for your drink? McDonald’s kept their summer promotion of $1 drinks going all year. Not a bad deal at all. But if you go anywhere else, you’re looking at over $2 per large drink. Filled with ice and you’re paying a lot for not very much. Restaurants like that.

When I worked at the last pizza place I was at, we served drinks in 22 ounce collector cups. One night we ran out of pop, so we used cans to fill the cups. A cup full of ice held one 12 ounce can of pop.

When you get a 32 ounce large cup of drink from your favorite food place, and the cup is full of ice, you get like three good drinks from the cup before it’s empty. Now you got all that ice in your cup that you can’t drink, keeping the air in the cup cold. You can’t drink the air, either.

That’s why I always order no ice. That’s why you should, too. Unless you’re one of those people that take forever to drink anything, and the ice is actually worth it. I don’t understand you people.


About Matt Roberts

I am an author of horror and things near it. I enjoy nightmares and bad B horror flicks.
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9 Responses to No Ice

  1. joey says:

    I don’t use ice much, either. I do when I get fountain drinks, but just a bit, not half or anything crazy like that. I am all about a large soda that gets me through the afternoon, so I guess I’m not as guzzly as you…
    I understand no ice just fine.

    Do you know Panera’s large sodas and tea are $2.09?!? When I get one, I use the cup for like, a week. lol

    Liked by 1 person

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