Strange News Sunday – Fashion Sucks

Also known as “Sucky Fashion.”

I may share some strange news from time to time, as I’m a fan of the crazy side of news sites. This particular set of stories isn’t so much strange as it is stupid.

Unless you live under a rock with no WiFi, I’m sure you’ve noticed lately that Rompers are making a comeback. Well, not so much a comeback, as women and babies have been wearing them for years, but now they’re finding their way to the men’s section at your local clothing retailer.

Now known as “RompHim,” the new fashion trend is showing just how hideous these things look on men. And well, anybody, really. The Ghostbusters were the only ones who were allowed to pull this off.

There’s so many things wrong with this, and I’d like to point them all out, but in the interest of keeping you here and reading instead of pushing you away, I’ll keep it short.

RompHim, the company who is making these, actually got crowd-funded for this. There are actually people who like this enough to send money to a startup company with the hopes of making male rompers a reality. Well, I guess after Trump was elected, nothing can surprise me anymore.

“The company says it’s meant for “anyone who wants to make a statement” and guarantees that it’ll look good on you.” Guaranteed, eh?

Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, and eh… nope.

Yeah, they’re making a statement, alright. But I don’t think it’s the statement that RompHim was trying to make.

“We’re revolutionizing men’s fashion…” RompHim said. Revolutionizing? Again, I don’t think that’s the word they were looking for.

Y’all, I looked at a bunch of pictures of guys wearing these things, and not once did I think it was a good idea. Not once did one stick out as maybe it looked good. I mean seriously y’all, the joke’s over. You can stop now.

OMFG No. *facepalm* Just no.

I’m not sure if this is worse than the RompHim, because I’m not sure that anything could get worse, but this definitely helps to prove that people are fucking stupid. And those with money will spend a lot of it on stupid shit. Take this for example.

For just a measly $425, you can order a pair of dirty jeans from Nordstrom. $425. Four-hundred-twenty-five dollars. And the dirt isn’t even real. It’s fake dirt. As Mike Rowe put it, “They’re not even fashion. They’re a costume for wealthy people who see work as ironic — not iconic.” Yeah, rich people want to look like they work hard and get dirty, without working hard or getting dirty.

Dave Shaffer said on Twitter, “Don’t buy #Nordstrom’s mud jeans. Just send your jeans to me and I will put local artisanal craft mud on them for $200 #isthishowyoubusiness.”

Hell, I’ll do you one better. I’ll do that for you for just $100.

Nordstrom is the kind of place that everyone should avoid. I don’t care how much money you have, or how you came by it. None of it is worthless enough to spend in Nordstrom. But like I said just a second ago, rich people will spend their money on the dumbest of shit.

Back in December of 2016, Nordstrom not only sold, but sold out of, a rock wrapped in a leather pouch. Guess how much? $85. Crazy, right? I know. I don’t have that kind of money to throw away on a fucking rock. But I do have the $65 they asked for a small rock wrapped in leather.

Just kidding. I don’t. However, I found a rock in my back yard that I wrapped in leather for free. I know, right? My wallet dodged a bullet there. What’s sad about this is, they’re still sold out. Like, they can no longer meet the demand for rocks. Wrapped in leather pouches. Cause those two things are so very hard to come by.

Nordstrom has also marketed jeans for women with giant patches cut out of the knees and replaced with saran wrap.

It’s obvious to me Nordstrom has decided to see just how ridiculous they could get and still make money. So far they haven’t found that line and they’re doing well. More power to them. I wish I had the balls to come up with something as terrible as any of these things and try to sell them to the public for outrageous amounts of money.

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About Matt Roberts

I am an author of horror and things near it. I enjoy nightmares and bad B horror flicks.
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4 Responses to Strange News Sunday – Fashion Sucks

  1. orbthefirst says:

    First, they sold tore up jeans, and I was like, “No.”
    Then, the man-bun came and I was like “No.”
    And then, they came for my dirty jeans.

    And Im still like, “NO.”

    Rompers just look like ugly ass PJs to me. And very homogeneous. So apparently were all supposed to look the same, or someshit. I dont even know.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Arionis says:

    When I look back at old pictures of my 80’s teenage self, I always regret my parachute pants days. However, these RompHims make those look like a three piece suit.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. joey says:

    I’ll be a rebel and say that a slim and slight man can look good in a romper, but I still don’t like them.
    I’ve got holey jeans. I get them muddy sometimes too, cause garden. If you recommend a buyer, I will certainly sell them for a steal. Let’s say $300? 😉

    Liked by 2 people

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