More Uber Buffoonery

Recently the CEO of Uber stepped down and since then the company seems to be getting better to work for, which is good, because I already work for them, and even though I’ve been approved to work for Lyft, I’d rather just stay with Uber.

While the changes haven’t all taken effect yet, some have, and it has been obvious. Things have been great these last couple weeks. Until tonight.

The other day I was completely broke, and since I like to eat, I decided to go out for a couple runs and make a little cash. I went down to CVG, Cincinnati’s International Airport (hint, it’s not in Cincinnati or even Ohio), to pick someone up. Those rides are great, because they can be going anywhere and the money can be good. An added bonus is, there’s something to talk about. “Where you coming from?” “Staying long?” “You should’ve went somewhere else.” “Oh, you live here? Sorry to hear that.” Just the basic small talk.

I got one ride and made $17, which is a pretty good fare, especially with no surge. So I decided I was going to try and hang out there more often instead of driving all over the city hoping to get a ride and wasting gas.

With my first pickup from the airport the other day, I finally learned where I’m supposed to wait to get a ride there. In the past I’ve picked up people from there, but was summoned for a ride as I was going by, not hanging out waiting. It turns out there’s a special parking lot for Uber and Lyft drivers to wait until they’re called up to the big leagues.

You have to wait in this parking lot until you’re called upon. When you get there, their computer system picks up on your Uber signal and places you in a queue. When it’s your turn, you get called to the passenger pickup. If you’re not in that parking lot, you don’t get called for a ride unless you’re the only sap there. That almost never happens. Those couple times it happened to me when I was just driving by were like winning the lottery, except getting a much smaller payout.

So tonight I went there and waited with about 10 other cars. Finally I got called and picked a couple up. It was a nice long ride and it was in a surge, so I was happy. After that ride I got gas with my new found fortune. From there it was a 30 minute drive on the highway back to the airport.

When I got there again, I parked with another 10 cars or so, but there was no surge, so things were slowing down. This was just before 2 AM. While I was sitting there, I was called for a ride somewhere else about 15 minutes away. Had I gone, I probably would’ve picked someone up from a bar and took them home and made about $3. So I denied the ride and continued waiting for an airport ride. That’s why I drove a half an hour to get down there in the first place. So I could make money. Not $3.

About 10 minutes later I get called for another ride, this one about 10 minutes away. Once again I figured if I took it, I would probably only make about $3, so I declined it and still waited for an airport ride. At this point I had been sitting there waiting for over a half hour. I had watched some people get sick of waiting and leave, and one or two get called up for a ride. I was close to being called up.

I declined the second ride and watched as the Uber app logged me out. I’m guessing that’s a thing if you decline more than one ride at a time. I quickly logged back in but was placed at the back of the queue, behind all of the cars that had shown up after I did, behind those few cars that were left from when I got there, and I was pissed.

So if you plan on doing Uber, take heed. This could also happen to you! Oh, and also, airports are good for money. So uh, yeah. If you get rides, that is. I’ll be contacting Uber about that. At this point they fucking LOVE hearing from me.

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About Matt Roberts

I am an author of horror and things near it. I enjoy nightmares and bad B horror flicks.
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