Ubering Tonight

Tonight was not a good night for me. So now you’re going to hear about it. Also, this is going to be a heads up on Uber Eats, for those of you who drive for it or want to, and those of you who use the service.

I started my night by getting called for a ride from the Western Southern Open at 11 pm. Lucky me, when I got there, the place was letting out. The parking lot was just that, except most of the cars were inhabited and on, and nobody was happy.

One guy who was trying to leave was stopped next to me. Someone ahead of him was apparently letting people in front of them, and the guy next to me wasn’t happy about it. He said, “Come on, you can’t let everybody out!”

I thought a few things.

1) If you were one of those cars, you’d be thankful he was letting you out. 2) Based on what you said, you’re the kind of asshole who won’t let anybody out, because where you’re going is more important than where anybody else is going. 3) You attended the same event as everybody else trying to leave. It is literally your fault for the backup. 4) You’re probably the kind of person who speeds down the highway and changes lanes/cuts people off without using your turn signal.

The place was so packed that it took me an hour to get to my rider. After that it was a quick ride down the street about a mile to his hotel. Even with the small surge, I only made $5.56. I told him in all that time he could’ve walked.

Then I had 2 customers in a row no-show on me, so I made $3.75 a piece on them. Woo.

Then I had 2 more rides, which was good. The fun didn’t start until what turned out to be my last run. An Uber Eats order that I got at 1:56 am for McDonald’s.

I don’t know about other cities, but here in Cincinnati, late night Uber Eats orders are almost always from McDonald’s, and of all the ones I’ve taken, only once did I not have to wait more than a couple minutes. That’s including about 2 dozen orders from around 5 or 6 different locations. Usually, since they’re the only ones open late who does Uber Eats, the drive thru is almost always backed up. And since it’s McDonald’s, they’re slow as hell.

Typical wait time for me is easily a half hour or more. Tonight, however, was different.

After getting the call at 1:56, it took about 10 minutes to get to that location. The drive thru line wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t moving. When I finally got to it, I told the guy in the speaker that I was there for Uber Eats.

Later, when I got to the pick up window, they had no idea I was there because the guy didn’t tell them, so the order wasn’t ready. It hadn’t even been started.

I waited at the window, holding up the ever growing line of cars behind me, for around 20 minutes while they got the order ready. In this time I heard two employees arguing inside, and people behind me started honking, as if that would miraculously make McDonald’s faster. Believe me, not even the great magic of Dumbledore could make that happen.

Finally when I got the order and pulled away, it was 2:57 am. One hour since I got the call, and 50 minutes since I pulled into the drive thru.

No sooner than I pulled onto the road, my phone rang. It was Uber Eats. The customer wanted to know what the hell was taking so long. I wanted to say, “They wanted McDonald’s, they should’ve expected this.” But I didn’t.

That’s only the second time I’ve had a customer complain about the wait.

Oh, how much did I make for all that? Less than five dollars.

Uber Eats isn’t so bad during the day. More places are open and taking orders and the wait is almost never long at all. Even McDonald’s is quicker during the day. At least that one time it was for me. But I drive mostly at night, so that’s what I deal with.

On a Friday night I drove for 4 hours and made $31. I called it quits. Stopped to get gas and 2 bottles of pop, and that was $23. So yeah, after working 4 hours I went home with $8.

Happy weekend everyone. 

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About Matt Roberts

I am an author of horror and things near it. I enjoy nightmares and bad B horror flicks.
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2 Responses to Ubering Tonight

  1. Really sorry about your night. I hope the rest of your weekend is better.

    Liked by 1 person

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