Strange News Sunday – Wombat Poop

Happy December!

Good lord has it been slow in the world of strange news. Believe me, I search all the time for stuff on many websites and as you are well aware, not a lot gets posted here in that category. But I did just see this story and while it’s not very strange, it still brings about questions.

Apparently wombat shit has been puzzling scientists since the beginning of time. But recently, scientists think they have finally discovered the secret behind the strange shape of wombat’s shit. You see, they poop in little cubes. They look like runes.

“Runes say, you need life.”

And this baffled scientists! It shook them to their very core! They were so deeply puzzled by this rare phenomenon that they put everything aside, all of their other jobs they pushed to the back burner, so that they could tackle the all important question as to WHY this kinda thing could happen in a world. And by god they think they’ve figured it out.

They say that the wombats have special digestive tracts that help to smoosh the shit together into blocks. And then the wombats stack their shit turds into little piles to either leave stinky landmarks so they know where they are all the time, or, much like a pair of shoes hanging on the power line in front of a house, as messages to other wombats to let them know what’s going down in certain neighborhoods.

This. This is where we’re at as far as science is concerned. In 2018. No wonder we haven’t cured cancer yet, or ended bigotry. We’re just now figuring out why wombats shit in cubes.

So now not only can the scientists go back to working on other, less important things, but now YOU can go back to your life, fulfilled that much more because of this epic knowledge. I hope you pull this knowledge out the next time you’re with your friends. You’ll be the king or queen of the night.

Now, from poop to farts. This place is really going down the shitter. Reportedly, on Facebook of all places factual, farting can help you lose weight. I just saw a post the other day about how farting once can lose you 67 (or something) calories, and farting 52 times a day can help you lose a pound of weight.

However, according to Snopes, it is NOT TRUE. So those of you who justify farting all day like some sort of animal (myself included) by saying you’re working out, stop it. You’re not fooling anybody.


About Matt Roberts

I am an author of horror and things near it. I enjoy nightmares and bad B horror flicks.
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