Women I Want To Find Hot (But Can’t)

I love women. That’s the guy coming out in me. So when I see a woman, I typically think first and foremost, “is she hot?” I don’t know why that is. It’s not like I can do anything about it. I’m happily married and besides, if I wasn’t, I wouldn’t do anything about it anyway. I’m not an “approach a woman” type of guy. I never was. Even still, I see a woman and I immediately think to myself if she’s hot or not.

And somewhere in between the lines of hot and not, are those women whom I’d like to find attractive for whatever reason, but somehow can’t. There’s not always an explanation for why that is, either. Usually there isn’t one, actually. For whatever reason, I just can’t. Here’s some of them that I can recall right now.


You know Flo, everyone does. She’s been the spokesperson for Progressive Insurance for like a decade now.

She’s cute, and in some commercials she’s even funny. She’s almost never annoying like that fucking guy they’re trying to replace her with, Jamie, or whatever his name is. And for whatever reason there is, I want to find her attractive, because I do believe she’s a kind of gal I could fall for. Yet for some reason, and I have no idea what it is, I just can’t find her attractive.

Again, I’m not sure why I want to find her attractive, I’m only guessing it’s because she’s one of my kind of women. But there’s something there, or maybe there’s something that isn’t there, and I just can’t find her attractive.


Much like Flo isn’t Flo’s real name (it’s Stephanie Courtney), Jan isn’t the real name of this actress. Her actual name is Laurel Coppock.

She’s kind of annoying in those commercials, but that’s what Toyota wants, I guess. She’s a very attractive woman, for sure, and she has a pleasant smile, which she’s always smiling. So why can’t I find her attractive?

It might have to do with how thin she is. I’m not much for thin women, though I don’t rule them out completely. I guess it’s all in how a woman is dressed, or packaged, so to speak. Not that there’s anything wrong with Jan’s wardrobe either. Again, I’m all out of ideas here. I don’t know why I can’t find her attractive, but I’d love to. Again, not that it matters. I’m not sure why I want to find her attractive, I just can’t. Maybe I don’t like being so selective. Maybe I don’t like keeping her out of my “hot chicks” club. I don’t know. But one thing is for sure, she’s annoying.

One last thing about her, apparently she’s quite talented an actress and has appeared in TV shows and a movie, and she’s also in a comedy group. I found all that out here, so check that link out and read up more about her.


Yup, Hermione Granger makes the list, only this time I know why.

Emma is one cute girl. Definitely a cutie patootie. And she has an accent, which rocks. I’m definitely not trying to take anything away from her, because she is a beautiful woman.

Yet, I can’t find her attractive, and I think it’s because she’s so thin. Which you know, good for her. I wish I was thin. But that thinness keeps me from finding her attractive. And I would love to find her attractive. She’s a beautiful woman. Even in that one Harry Potter movie where she gets all dressed up for that dance, she looked amazing. Yet if she were to come up to me all dolled up like that, and ask me out, I’d have to say no. Sorry, but you’re not for me.


Here’s one I put off until the end because I just don’t find her attractive, but as it turns out, I do want to find her attractive.

Kim is a gorgeous woman, she has the perfect skin tone, she’s got gorgeous hair. Yet that ass.

Believe it or not, I don’t find that ass attractive. And I’d love to find her attractive because hell, the whole world seems to think she is. But I can’t, because she’s got too much ass.

I love a thick ass, but to a degree. There’s a limit. Just like legs, I love thickness, but can only handle so much before it’s too much. And her ass is just too much.

I also don’t like the fact that everyone has to keep tabs on her life. I never understood the whole celebrity life crush thing. Who gives a shit what celebrities do in their personal lives? What’s Bob down the street doing? Who cares about Bob? I don’t. So I certainly don’t care about a celebrity’s life.

Honestly, I think I could look past the whole celebrity thing (and even her dumbass husband) if she had a smaller ass. But to me, that thing is just too large, so she’s a no go on the hot scale.

5/3 GIRL

Lastly, here’s this red head girl that I really want to find attractive, but I really can’t. I don’t know her commercial name, but her real name is Cody Lindquist.

She’s got red hair, which is an instant win in my book. And she’s very cute. She’s actually very cute in real life and kinda dumbed down a bit for the 5/3 commercials, if you ask me.

What is it that I don’t like about her? How about the absolutely ridiculously stupid commercials 5/3 puts her in. These commercials are terrible. But apparently they’re working for Cody, because she’s been in quite a few for a couple years now, so maybe she’s got a full time gig. Good for her.

Here’s a picture of her in real life.

Is there anybody you want to find attractive but can’t for whatever reason? I’d love to know.

About Matt Roberts

I am an author of horror and things near it. I enjoy nightmares and bad B horror flicks.
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1 Response to Women I Want To Find Hot (But Can’t)

  1. joey says:

    All the time. I definitely have a type, and while many men are attractive, they don’t tick all my boxes.

    Liked by 1 person

Speak, Earthling!

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