My 40th Birthday

I’d like to say hi to all my new followers. May you enjoy the ride.

Today I turned 40. What an accomplishment, considering I still feel 25. And that’s what 40 is. It’s 25 again. I know the math doesn’t add up, but it doesn’t have to.

Today was epic from beginning to end. First, at midnight last night, I was just closing at work. My manager said she discovered a bunch of beer that was outdated, and that the owner said to get rid of it any way she could. So me and another closer took it home. We each got 3 cases a piece.

And then there was an order for 50 wings, but for some reason we made it twice, so there were these 50 wings just hanging out, begging to be eaten. Someone snatched up the first 25, so I took the other. Free beer and free wings. I had a beer in me and the wings polished off by 1 AM.

I slept for a few hours, then woke up and my wife and I met my mom for lunch at Hooters, where my mom said she’d treat us. It was my wife’s first time there and my mom’s second, I think she said. It was my uh… I don’t know, three thousand something.



But I haven’t been there since around 2012. A lot has changed, I see. And I’m not happy with the changes. Even the restaurant itself has been overhauled to look different, and I didn’t care for it, either.

We were sat at a table, and our waitress took our drink orders. I also ordered a quesadilla as an appetizer. We sat there for 30 minutes and finally saw our waitress again. We asked about the appetizer. She said she’d bring it out when it was ready, kind of snippy, too.

We waited another ten minutes and our lunches came out. Still no quesadilla. We ate our lunches and never saw her again. She never came to see if everything was alright, she never got refills. Hell, when our lunch was brought out to us some other waitress brought it.

My mom grabbed my empty cup and went to the bar. She came back with my refill and said she requested to see a manager. He came out and threw his waitress under the bus. He said she didn’t put the order for the quesadilla in, and that he would do so and comp us for it.

Finally it came out, and we ate it. Then the waitress dropped off the bill, and we saw that the quesadilla was on it, and we also discovered cups of ranch were a dollar a piece. Not fifty cents like most other places charge, twice that. I had ordered two and only got one, so my mom complained about that as well the second time she saw the manager, who this time was making every excuse he could for his waitress.

The waitress came back out and my mom pointed out the mess ups and she said she didn’t know things were messed up. My mom said she wasn’t around to know, and that she was nowhere to be found when we needed her the most. The waitress bust out in tears and ran off.

We made our waitress cry, y’all.

I can’t say I’m proud of that, but that has never happened to me, ever. I had a waitress get shit faced trashed during her shift and charge me over $400, which was at another Hooters, but I’ve never made one cry. This was a special moment for me.

The manager comp’d our entire meal, which was almost $60 for two sandwiches, one salad, and a quesadilla. So needless to say I’ll never be going back. I barely liked my sandwich, which I always ordered before but they had to make changes to that ruined it. My wife only ate half her sandwich. We couldn’t order the chicken quesadilla because they got rid of it, so we went with cheese only.

Too many unnecessary changes. Never going back.

We went from there to Reily Pizza, a place I’ve come to call my second home. My home away from home, if you will. People now know me there, and not only do they have the best pizza around, but they sell beer.

We drank a lot, had our tab paid several times, so that when my wife and I left, our bill was only $18. My dad got out of there without having to pay anything.

I had some smoke given to me, and smoked with me. I ate some delicious pizza. Then I came home to 3 free cases of beer to drink and free smoke to smoke. This has easily been the greatest birthday I think I’ve ever had. Good times.

About Matt Roberts

I am an author of horror and things near it. I enjoy nightmares and bad B horror flicks.
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10 Responses to My 40th Birthday

  1. orbthefirst says:

    LOL, @ guy bitchin about dinner at Hooters like its a fancy eating establishment..like Dennys or someshit. PFFT 😛 J/K

    Happy Birthday! Welcome to your 40s. Everything hurts now. Lol

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Twindaddy says:

    Happy birthday! Free beer and wings makes everything better.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Arionis says:

    Happy belated birthday! You can’t go wrong with pizza and beer!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. joey says:

    Well, apart from the world’s most sensitive waitress, I’m glad it was good day for Matt Does 40. I haven’t been to Hooters in ages. Maybe ten years. It used to be good. I wonder if they’ve all gone downhill? I’m not motivated to find out.
    Happy Belated 😀

    Liked by 1 person

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