Asexuality

First of all, let me say that I’ve gotten myself so busy with my podcast and now with the internet radio, that I just forgot about this place. I’m glad people are still stopping by.

Second, I really had to get this off my chest and I just wasn’t feeling any other outlet at the moment, so here we are.

I get feeling all kinds of ways when having kids is brought up. I think it would be awesome if every person on this planet could get to be a parent, especially if they truly want it, no matter the reason.

However, I also feel that this planet is seriously overpopulated with far too many people reproducing who have no right reproducing. That’s why this world is overpopulated. Most people having kids are only having kids because they wanted to fuck and didn’t use protection. Not because they were decent candidates to be a parent, and not because they wanted the kid. But because they had a hardon and needed to bust up inside someone.

Unfortunately the problem with that is, most of the people who are having kids because of that reason aren’t smart enough humans to be teaching another human how to be a good human. And the dumber they get, generation after generation, and the more they have, so that every set of parents is spreading their plague of dumbass genetics all over the place, not just in one direction.

I also feel like, for me personally, I’ve always wanted kids, but I KNOW I am not a good candidate to be a dad. If I became a dad, I’d ruin that pristine little mind by shrapneling my bullshit all through that baby’s brain. And then they’d be starting preschool looking at other kids playing with certain toys and thinking, “Yeah, you seem like the kind of baby bitch that would play with that toy” instead of making friends. I don’t want that for my kid. I want my kid to turn out better than me. I don’t want that kid to live a life like I have. And I’m not good enough to give them that life, so I chose to not be a dad.

It helped that my wife can’t have kids. It also helped in making her a miserable mess for years because she wanted to be a mom so badly. I watched her cry, and sob, and hate herself for having yet another miscarriage. I watched it change who she was as a person, and I feel so terrible for her. Just thinking about it now while I type this is making me tear up. Family was everything to her and now she can’t have one in that respect.

It eats at me that I couldn’t give that to her, on both accounts. Naturally I have no control over her body keeping her from getting pregnant, but I can’t stop my not wanting to have a kid.