This should piss quite a few people off, including some I know. First, let me show you a viral post that went out a couple years ago on Facebook from a guy who said he’s not going to watch out for motorcycles and that his life is more important.
When I first saw that I was livid. What a jerk! My dad’s a biker! I have friends who are bikers! I’ve known many bikers over the years! Bikers are good people! Well, the CAN BE good people. And they’re not protected as well as those of us in cars. A fender bender could kill them. And no matter what you might think or feel, they’re not going away anytime soon. So you might as well just deal with it and watch out. Hey, you’re always watching out for other cars, right? Why stop there? A wreck is a wreck is a wreck. They’re inconveniences, expensive, and they could potentially hurt or kill you. So hey, let’s stay the fuck out of accidents with ANYBODY.
That being said, the more I thought about it, and the more I saw those yellow bumper stickers all over the fucking place, and the more I see assholes on bikes flying down the road going twice the speed limit, zig zagging back and forth between cars, doing wheelies down the street, burning out, driving between cars on the lines… the more I don’t care. It’s hard enough for me to care about anybody anyway, especially those I don’t know, and honestly I think anybody fucking up should get fucked up. But these bikers should all know that their lives are on the line. Not only that, but they could ruin someone else’s life if they’re not careful.
Oh man, Joe Cartoon. How I miss you.
If you’ve never heard of Joe Cartoon, he was basically the god of the internet back in the late 90s to mid 2000s. He made Flash cartoons and interactive “games” that were so hysterical, violent, bloody, gory, and expletive, that most people probably shouldn’t have watched them at all. But they did. Lots of people.
For some reason he moved all of his content to YouTube, and his site came down. I don’t think he does videos anymore. And the interactive ones are now just videos that do the interacting for you. But, there are hundreds of videos and they’re all epic, so check out YouTube for more, if you like this.
Oh, he has a habit of killing gerbils.
This is just one of many of my favorites, but I can’t leave you hanging, so I posted both the first and second in this little series. The second doesn’t make any sense. So uh, welcome to Joe Cartoon.
Posted in YouTube Tuesday
Tagged cartoon, comedy, flash, flies, funny, high, humor, joe cartoon, satire, stoned, videos, youtube, ytt
As a surprise, the wife scheduled a trip for us to the 16th annual Mothman Festival in Point Pleasant, WV. Cause she LOVES me.
If you don’t know about the Mothman, then you don’t know shit. So back in the day, the Mothman warned the folks of Point Pleasant that some things were going to go badly, and of course nobody listened, even though you’d think when an 8-foot moth guy tells you some shit, you’d fucking listen. Nobody did, and then those things went wrong and then the Mothman became a legend. Specifically when the Silver Bridge collapsed into the Ohio River, killing a lot of people and ruining a whole lot of other people’s day.
This should splain some things. It’s the plaque at the bottom of the Mothman statue in town.
I’m absolutely in love with the Noisettes. Seriously. I discovered them a few years ago on the same music channel that I discovered Robert Randolph on. The official video for this song came on, and I was immediately entranced. If you haven’t seen that video or heard the album version of this, you simply must.
Shingai Shoniwa, the singer, is so cute, and her voice is amazing. She has so much singing talent yet it comes out so effortlessly. And she’s so lively, so full of energy and positivity, it just radiates off of her. I bet she’d be fun to hang out with.
I found the rest of the band very interesting. Two dudes, officially, but they include a lot of instruments in their music, making it so full and rich. And if you happen to check out the album this is on, all of the songs are great, but they’re all different. Not just different sounding, and different genres, but DIFFERENT. I really love how they play and write songs.
They’re just a lot of fun, which I appreciate the hell out of. And if you’ve never heard of them, chances are good you’ve heard one of their songs before and not known it, on some TV commercial for some kind of moisturizer or something. You can listen to it here.
Since I drive for Uber, I usually get into the general conversation of “So, do you do this full time?” To which I always reply, “No, I’m a writer.” Inevitably I always get asked, “OH! What do you write?” Since I’m an ass, I started answering this question with…
Posted in One-Liner Wednesday
Tagged 1linerWeds, asshole, comedy, comical, cynical, funny, humor, on writing, satire, uber, writer, writing
I’m such a lazy fuck. Seriously, if I could get away with never doing anything, I would. If I could just stare at a wall all day, I’d do it. I might nod off to sleep, I might not. I wouldn’t get bored. If I could just go to the bathroom and eat and drink where I sat, I would be the happiest person ever.
Well, probably not. Being happy actually uses energy, and I’m not about that life. So I’d probably just be indifferent to it.
I just saw this product and thought, I need this in my life. Who’s got time to hold their phone? I know I don’t. This couldn’t be a more perfect product, and I’m proud to live on a planet where such a thing exists.
Isn’t that excellent? Plug in the charger and my headphones, yeah, I’m not going anywhere for the foreseeable future. Add WiFi? You may as well forget I exist.