Review: Coolpad Suva

I dropped my Moto G Stylus (one of the worst phones of all time) and the screen shattered, and since I didn’t have the money to get a good new phone, I decided to get a cheap phone to last me until I could get a better one. I saw the Coolpad Suva, and decided to bypass all of the bad reviews and get it, cause it was cheap.

I discovered quickly that the bad reviews were all correct. What a worthless piece of shit this phone is. This review won’t plainly convey just how absolutely terrible it is.

Despite having 3GB RAM/32GB ROM w/support for up to 64GB MicroSDᵀᴹ Card and a 2.0 GHz Octa-Core processor, this phone is so slow it’s basically dead. Completely unresponsive, apps freeze all the time, buttons refuse to acknowledge being touched, and when things do work, they work for a very short period of time. The sound on the speaker for music or hands-free talking is low, and I regularly have to hold the speaker up to my ear to hear someone talking to me while in speaker phone mode.

From Boost Mobile (with my comments):

“The Coolpad Suva is an elegantly designed (not true, though more thought went into the design than anything else) smartphone (not true) built with purpose (not true).  It features multiple built-in security options for your preference, quality (not true) dual rear cameras to ensure vibrant photos with every shot, dependable power with the quick charge battery so you can leave the worry behind and offers multiple Bluetooth audio pairing for an enjoyable sound experience on the perfect sized 6.1″ HD+ display.”

This phone is god awful. There are so many problems with it I can’t even think of them now that I’m trying to write this. I may come back to it when I think of them.

One issue I know I’m having is, the apps do whatever they want when they want. Every time I turn on my screen, I get a Gmail notification, so I go open it and there’s no new email and the notification goes away. Turns out it’s my Gmail synching, and it has to be displayed in the notification bar. If that’s a new thing with Gmail, it happened the night I broke my last phone and before I could buy this POS in the morning, because I’ve never seen it before.

My Facebook Messenger app does NOT notify me of new messages until I open it up, then I get flooded with new messages. Only phone I’ve ever had that has done that.

I don’t even play games on it, and I only have two I like to play, but they require a responsive display, and that’s not happening with this phone. I recently contacted them to tell them about another issue I had, and their response was almost like a giant SIGH with defeated tone, like, they know it sucks but what can ya do?

“First of all, I have to say, the Suva is the single worst phone I’ve ever owned. I’m not sure why you thought it was a good idea to release it how it is, but whatever.

I just got a spam text message and decided to report the spam, but there was no option to do so, so I tapped on the block number option and got a message that they would still be able to message me but I wouldn’t be notified of it, AND, the message was then archived instead of deleted. That’s not blocking anything, it’s just not telling me I’ve been messaged. What is that crap? Do you not know what blocking means?

I’d love to hear your reasoning for this, but I really don’t care. I won’t have this phone much longer and then I’ll block the memory of owning it from my brain.”

So yeah, they can still message me and I’ll still get them on the phone, the phone just won’t tell me I got that message. So I’ll see it if I go to my messages for another message that I WAS notified for. Their response, even though I said I didn’t care?

“Thank you for reaching out to Coolpad!

Blocking the phone numbers on your phone has an option for you to do so, This means that the person can still send you a message but your phone will be unable to receive it. We suggest turning on the Spam Protection on your under Messages > Settings > Spam Protection.

To permanently block the phone numbers, You can contact your carrier to register the phone number on your carrier’s Do Not Call list.”

Sure. This phone sucks and they know it. Boost Mobile has it listed as a $100 phone but it’s on sale for $50. Even at that price point, look elsewhere. Maybe get a nice flip phone. I wouldn’t accept this one as a gift.

Also, Boost Mobile used to be a good network, but now that Dish owns them, they fucking suck. I’ve only been back with Boost for a couple of months now, but I’m looking elsewhere. Maybe Straight Talk.

Out of 10 possible stars, I rate this phone a 1 because I can’t give it a 0. I mean, I COULD, cause it’s my fucking rating system, but I programmed it stupidly yet still released it.

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Strange News Sunday: Raptor Whales

It has been a long while since I’ve done one of these. Sorry.

For this one, though, I couldn’t pass this story up. I don’t feel enough people are talking about this. It’s cool as hell, and a bit terrifying, though we don’t have to worry about it anymore.

Think about whales for a moment. Giant, majestic, sea creatures that sing wonderful songs of splendor and eat tons of plankton.

Yeah, they used to walk on land and eat everything. Apparently. I’m just now finding this out, cause I’m not cultured in the ways of knowing things.

Recently, some Egyptian scientists dug up some fossils in the Sahara Desert in California (Bill and Ted reference) that showed them an entirely new species of whale that used to hang out 43 million years ago.

It had four legs. And a raptor-like mouth that they used to eat the fuck out of everything. Apparently they were ultra badass and nothing near them was safe. Wanna see an artist’s rendition of this hell spawn?

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I’m So Bored

I need to leave social sites. I can’t stand Twitter, and hate Facebook even more. The problem is, even though I hate people and nobody wants to hang out with me anymore which is actually okay, I still secretly desire to hang out with people. Social sites are the only way I get to interact with anybody anymore, yet I always leave both sites feeling pissed off.

That’s one reason I’ve been blogging more. I can say what’s on my mind and leave it at that. Very few people see my shit here anymore and even fewer comment. Yet that’s still more than what I get from either of those social sites. Nobody cares what I have to say, yet I keep trying.

So what do I do? I know things will be different soon. My wife and I are about to purchase our first home together and when we move there we’ll actually have internet. Something we haven’t had in over 2 years. I’m currently using her job’s WiFi, which is very limiting, and I can’t do much but go on social sites. Now that I don’t want to do that anymore, I have nothing to do but blog or sleep in my car until she gets off of work. I guess I could go watch something on Pluto for 5 more hours, but not even that sounds fun.

I have nothing to do. I’m bored. I could write, but that hasn’t sounded like fun in months, and even then, what ever comes from that will go unnoticed by everyone. Writing used to be fun, and I wish it could still be for me, but it’s not.

I don’t know what to do. I need to form a drug habit or something. Maybe if I was tweaking out of my mind I wouldn’t care that I was bored.

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My Hotel Job: Craziness

One night I was taking trash out at 3 am and heard someone talking. I couldn’t see anyone, so I made my way to the side door. I happened to see a man behind our two electric car chargers, messing with them and talking to himself. I tried to go in quickly but he caught me and had me come over to him. Aside from telling me a whole bunch of shit I didn’t care about, and none of it making sense, he kept lightly coughing after everything he said. It almost sounded like he was coughing up a hairball.

When I finally broke free of him I tried to get to the front desk to have my wife call the police, but he beat me to her. He was talking more nonsense, then went over to our public computer and started messing with it. Then he went to a couch in the lobby and sat down, just hanging out. She asked him if he had a room and he said no. She handed me the local police number and I went outside to call them.

They had already driven around our hotel and was driving past. I waved and mouthed “HELP” but they kept going, and went to the hotel next door to drive around their lot with their spotlight on. I called and they quickly came back and pulled him outside to talk to him. We watched them put him in cuffs and shove him in the back of a car. One came in to tell us the guy was high on meth, which is why he was doing that cough, and that they found a pipe in his pocket.

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My Hotel Job: Shit Guests

I don’t know what it is about people who have no couth at all when it comes to how they behave in public places, but for some reason, they all stay at my hotel. People let their kids loose to do whatever the hell they want. They trash the place and don’t clean up after themselves, and constantly do the dumbest shit that just makes me shake my head in disbelief.

The other night I walked by our gym. Kids shouldn’t be in there period, especially without a parental figure present, but the gym is closed to all guests at 10pm. I walked by around midnight and there were no less than 8 kids in there, ranging from what was maybe 5 or 6 years old to teenagers.

I looked in through the large window, made eye contact with one of the older ones, shook my head and motioned for them to come out. I didn’t even bother saying anything about the youngest one sitting and bouncing on a big workout ball.

I went to do something and went back to see they were all still in there. They sent that youngest who was bouncing on the ball out to ask me if I was an employee. I couldn’t understand him when he asked if I was a worker, because of how young he was and how unclear his speech was. I didn’t even say “Do you see how the hotel logo is on my shirt?” Instead I walked in, looked at them all, and said they had to get out. I refrained from saying “Get the fuck out” because I do have a tiny shred of couth. Tiny.

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Fuck Microsoft

I’m done. I’ve had it. I have endured two decades of dealing with their shit and I’ve finally fucking had it.

My laptop has Windows 10 on it, like most computers operating today. Since I’ve left XP I’ve been unhappy. 10 is a huge clusterfuck of shit that don’t work. Fucking Vista worked better than 10.

My laptop lags all the time. I used to be able to restart it and it would be okay, but now that doesn’t even help. I was on it all night last night and never, not once, was there an update. I took it home where I have no internet, even left it in the car all day. Just now I tried to get on it and noticed a new feature that popped up out of fucking nowhere.

I wasn’t asked if I wanted it. I wasn’t told it was being installed. It was just there. It was a little newspaper looking thing on the bottom right of my taskbar. Hovered over it and a bunch of news articles popped up.

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