I’m bored, so I got on my computer with nothing in mind to do. I checked Facebook, but had just done that from my phone before getting on the PC. Well, laptop. Whatevs.
So then I went to my next go-to thing to do and that is search for strange news for my Sunday schtick. THIS schtick, actually. You see, I look for this stuff constantly. It’s a “strange” obsession. Almost none of my Strange News articles are actually written on Sunday. For instance, it’s currently Monday. But I saw this crap and thought it would be a good one to write, so here we go.
This happened. I went to this website, UPI.com, which I check regularly for strange content, and I saw this listed.
New York Town Breaks Guinness Record For Human Shamrock
What the hell? Guinness takes anything as a record setting/breaking deal. If you can get enough people to go along with your dumbass idea, you can set a Guinness world record and be forever remembered as a Guinness record holder, along with people who actually did shit that was noteworthy. Like who, you ask? I have no idea. I don’t read the Guinness book because I just don’t. If I had one, I probably would. But I know there are people in it who did amazing shit to become a record holder. It was right around the time I saw an episode of Get A Life where Chris Elliott does something really stupid to get in the Guinness Book. I was like 11 years old and I thought, “that’s pretty stupid.”
If you’ve never seen this show, you owe it to yourself to not. It was great. Either you’re a Chris Elliott fan, or you’re not. Source
Ever since then I’ve seen people doing dumb shit and getting in the book. And this is one of them. So what? The record is getting people to stand still for five straight minutes? You know what? It’s cool, it’s neat, I think it looks great. You guys did a good job. But to set a record? Of any kind? It’s not that awesome. They formed a shamrock. Wow. It’s not 3D, or in 4k definition… it’s just a clipart shamrock.
I just shook my head, as I read over the details, and learned that they didn’t set the record, they BROKE the record. That means people before them got together and did it first. That means someone else thought it was an easy enough task, drank enough, and broke the record. Instead of coming up with something original, which should be easy enough considering they’ll take anybody as a record holder, or doing something outstanding, they settled for mediocrity and went with this. So basically they spent money on the green ponchos for 1200 people, paid for an aerial photo/video and got into the Guinness Book of World Records.
I literally thought, “there’s no way people would be this mediocre and become a record holder like this again.” And I scrolled down to see this.
Northern Ireland School Forms Pi Symbol To Break Record
Same story, different picture. Literally. A group of people got together to BREAK a record already set by people who got drunk and had nothing better to do but became record holders anyway.
In the previous story, 1200 people broke a record previously set by 815. In this one, 1170 people broke a record previously set by 847.
Why, you ask? Who cares. It’s not like the Guinness Book is reputable now. Hell, there’s an episode of Nitro Circus where they set so many brand new records in a certain amount of time, which is also a record. It’s cool as hell to watch them do it, and they’re actually doing skillful things to earn these records, not just stand in place for five minutes. But even then after they set all these new records it’s kinda like, “Damn Guinness, not trying very hard now are you?”
So there you go. Four groups of people all with the same thing in mind. Do something terribly mediocre, be put on record for doing it. Maybe I’ll try to create my own record and then do it, like blogging for 24 straight hours or some stupid shit. We’ll see.*
*No, we won’t.