Going Keto

I’m sick of being a fat, out of shape, sweat hog. So I’m going to be changing my life around. First things first. Diet and exercise. Keto sounds like a plan, it’s supposed to be great for those who have high blood pressure and diabetes. Count me in.

I don’t know much about Keto, so I did a search on it to see what it was all about, and I came upon this site that is supposed to be for beginners, ketocycle.diet. You answer questions, tell them how old you are, how much you weigh, and how tall you are, and how much you’d like to weigh and they tell you a meal plan to help you get there for a fee. I wouldn’t mind paying if it would help me lose weight and set me on a good path.

Instead, I’m told that my height and weight are SO OUTRAGEOUSLY IMPOSSIBLE that it could never happen in a million years and there’s nothing they can do for me unless I change the numbers to something that they can deal with. Something they can handle. God forbid they help someone who’s actually fat and needs it. No, this Keto diet is only for those who are already in perfect shape, they just want to be trendy.

After that, there’s nothing else. There’s no “Are you sure this is correct? If so, continue with your customized plan.” No, none of that. They can’t help you, because they can’t wrap their mind around someone being fat. So they actually planned that message. They actually refused to design their website to include plans for people who are overweight and need the help. They actually wrote out this message and programmed it onto their site and told it to pop up when fat people come by so that they know there’s no help for them here. They’re unwanted here.

Or I could go and change my weight so that it’s more along what they can fathom, with their tiny little brains that are open to a very tiny world that doesn’t weigh anything. So I could lie, basically, just to let them take my money to “help” me. Which they’d probably just criticize me instead. Point at me and talk quietly amongst themselves while staring at me.

So instead of wasting my money with a site that openly doesn’t want to help us disgusting ass fat fucks to lose weight, I’ll just search meals for myself and do it all myself for free, like a friend suggested. Fuck that site, they can suck a fat one.