Ambulance Chasers Are The Worst!

It doesn’t get much clearer than that. They are the worst. And if you’re like my wife and have never heard the term “ambulance chaser” before, I’ll explain.

An ambulance chaser is typically a chiropractor or lawyer, possibly doctor’s office, who contacts you immediately after you’ve been in an accident. They’re trying to get paid, basically, by offering their services to you. They don’t really care about you, they just care that, if you’re not the one at fault in the accident, you’re going to have your doctor bills paid by the other insurance company, which means any of their services will be paid by the insurance company. You’re basically just their ticket to cash.

I was in an accident last Wednesday. It wasn’t my fault, because I am an excellent driver. No, it was someone else’s fault, because everyone else on the road other than me, sucks. It was rainy out, the road was wet, up ahead the traffic had come to an abrupt stop. I locked my breaks and came to a stop just behind the person in front of me, with maybe an inch to spare.

Unfortunately, they weren’t so lucky behind me. Someone rear ended the person behind me, who in turn rear ended me. I hit the guy in front of me, just barely, and he took off, wanting no part in the chaos that ensues when you’re in a wreck.

Kids, if for no other reason, try to stay out of wrecks because of the bullshit you have to go through after, even if it isn’t your fault.

I had to speak to FOUR different insurance companies. All of them wanted the story, all of them wanted copies of copies of copies of stuff. Emails were sent, emails were received. Phone calls… so many phone calls…

Of the four insurance companies I’m dealing with, the one in particular I care most about needs copies of my hospital bills and the police report.

Oh yeah, I went to the hospital and I’m fine. My back hurts from where I tensed up just before I got hit, cause I knew it was coming. The miraculous thing about the whole ordeal is that the Dodge Durango that rear ended me, their front end was destroyed, but I didn’t get so much as a scratch on my car. Talk about lucky.

(I drive a Ford Escape BTW)

Oh, so anyway, I need copies of the police report and my hospital junk.

The police report wasn’t ready for five to seven business days after the accident. Today is the seventh business day. I went earlier and got the report.

This is no lie.

The moment the woman at the police department was sliding my report through the opening in the bulletproof glass, my fingers hadn’t even touched it yet, my phone rang.